Maria DeBonis-Richards, MSED, CT
She/Her

by Sara Rian

After a significant loss, many people search for something that will help them understand what they are experiencing. However, grief can also make it difficult to concentrate or even finish a chapter of a book. After a loss, so much energy goes toward trying to understand and adjust to a new reality, which can make reading feel much harder than it once did. Because of this, traditional grief books can sometimes feel overwhelming when someone is already carrying so much.

This is one of the reasons I appreciated Sara Rian’s Find Me There. Through short, thoughtful poems, Rian creates space for the many emotions that come with grief, including love, pain, longing, and memories that can be difficult to put into words. For someone who may not have the energy or focus for a traditional grief book, this collection offers a gentle way to connect with grief in small moments. Rather than explaining grief, Rian offers something many grieving people need: the feeling of being understood. One poem that has stayed with me challenges a phrase many grieving people hear: “They wouldn’t want to see you cry.” Rian gently reminds readers that grief is a natural expression of love. Our tears reflect the depth of our love, not a failure to heal.

Reading this collection reminded me that grief is both universal and deeply personal. Some poems made my throat tighten, brought tears to my eyes, or gave me chills. Others did not resonate with me in the same way. That experience reminded me of something I often share with my clients: there is no single “right” way to grieve, and not every story or resource will speak to every person. Sometimes the greatest comfort is not finding answers, but finding words that reflect our own experience. I appreciate that Find Me There does not try to fix grief or tell readers how they should grieve. Instead, it offers companionship, reminding readers that their grief is valid, their love endures, and they are not alone.

A common question people have about therapy isn’t how to begin, it’s how to know when it’s time to end, take a break, or make a change. Questions like How long should therapy last?, How do I know if I’m ready to stop?, or What if my therapist isn’t the right fit? are all normal and worth talking about.

The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld is a simple but meaningful book about grief, emotions, and support. While it is often seen as a children’s book, its message is valuable for people of all ages. The story begins with a child building a block tower, which suddenly gets knocked down. The child feels upset and different animals come along with ideas about what to do like yelling, fixing the problem, blaming others, or trying to distract. These responses may sound familiar, as they reflect how people often try to handle difficult emotions. However, none of these approaches truly help the child feel understood.

A Grief Observed

By: C.S. Lewis

This book was written after the death of his wife, and this brief but powerful book offers an unfiltered look at grief as it is truly experienced—messy, unpredictable, and deeply personal.

Lewis’s honesty is what makes this work so impactful. He openly expresses shock, anger, doubt, and longing, giving readers permission to recognize these feelings in themselves. Many who are grieving find comfort in seeing their own thoughts reflected on the page, especially when they worry their grief is “too much” or somehow wrong. Rather than offering solutions, the book creates space for grief to exist as it is. It reminds readers that there is no linear path through loss and that difficult emotions are a natural response to love.

One of the most common questions I hear in grief counseling isn’t about the loss itself. It’s, “Is what I’m feeling normal?” Behind that question is often a deeper fear: that they’re grieving the wrong way, taking too long, feeling too much or not enough. Many begin to judge their grief through the lens of others’ reactions and expectations.

Riley the Rabbit Learns About Death

By Ashley Hall

As a grief counselor who supports children experiencing the death of a loved one, I am always looking for books that provide honest, developmentally appropriate conversations about grief. Riley the Rabbit Learns About Death does an excellent job of introducing children to the realities of death in a gentle, compassionate, and understandable way.

One of the strengths of this book is its use of clear and concrete language. Riley's mother explains that Uncle Ramsey "died" rather than using euphemisms such as "passed away," "went to sleep," or "we lost him." This is especially important for children, who often interpret language literally and can become confused by indirect explanations about death.

While this book is written for children, I believe adults can benefit from it as well. Children's books about death often model healthy ways to talk about grief, answer difficult questions, and support emotional expression. For parents, caregivers, educators, and helping professionals, this book serves as a valuable example of how to have honest conversations about loss.

The book also includes several helpful resources at the end, including a glossary that explains terms such as funeral, casket/coffin, and dead. There are discussion questions for parents and caregivers, suggested activities, and a contact page where families can list important sources of support such as school counselors, clergy, grief counselors, and trusted adults.

My one minor critique involves a statement from Riley's mother that "Uncle Ramsey would want you to have fun and be happy." While this is a common sentiment and likely intended to be comforting, some children and adults may feel pressure or guilt if they are not feeling happy or ready to have fun. Grief is highly individual, and it is important for people to know that sadness, anger, confusion, and other emotions are also normal and acceptable responses to loss.

Overall, Riley the Rabbit Learns About Death is a thoughtful and practical resource for families navigating grief. I would recommend it to parents, caregivers, educators, and clinicians who are supporting bereaved children. At Therapeutic Counseling and Consulting, I work with adults as well as children ages 7 and up who are experiencing death-related grief, and I can see this book being a valuable tool for helping start meaningful conversations about loss, remembrance, and healing.

Maria DeBonis-Richards, MSED, CT

Resident In Counseling

Certified in Thanatology: Death, Dying, Loss and Bereavement

End-of-life planning is often avoided, yet it’s one of the most powerful ways to bring clarity, intention, and peace into both life and death. Through lived experience, formal study in Counseling of Death and Loss, and training as an End-of-Life Doula, one truth becomes clear: planning for the end is connected to living well.