It’s that time of year again where holidays are piling up, one after another - Thanksgiving, Christmas, Las Posadas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, and more - and while many of these holidays offer opportunities for connection with loved ones or members of our communities, they also can stir up uncomfortable conversations and comments relating to eating habits and appearance. Across different cultures, these holidays typically involve gatherings of some sort that can be highly centered around food, and for those of us who have struggles with eating or concerns involving our body image, it can be a particularly triggering experience. Navigating thoughts and feelings around eating is hard, and potentially unkind comments or questions from family/friends can be even harder as they can impact our self-esteem and self-perception.
*Image accessed via Google Images
Disordered eating and intense preoccupation with our bodies can become exacerbated when we experience increased stress, and the emotional stakes feel a little higher around this time of year. The idea of seeing family (or not), feeling pressured to give gifts that might cause financial strain, or potential loneliness from not having the holiday experience we might desire are all examples of what can increase our stress levels. Let’s talk about some potential mindfulness skills as self-care strategies that can assist you in remaining grounded and staying emotionally regulated if you notice thoughts or behaviors around food are becoming less manageable. Above all else, it is important to give yourself permission to feel grace and compassion for any struggles you might endure this holiday season. You are not alone.
Mindfulness
Implementing any sort of technique that focuses us on the present moment induces the relaxation response from our parasympathetic nervous system, which essentially is our way of regulating stress. Mindfulness activities are helpful in that they allow our bodies to calm down when feeling emotionally activated, and when our body feels calm and soothed, so does our mind. Examples:
Box breathing → if you hear an unpleasant comment from a family member (whether it is directed at you or not) try to inhale slowly for 4 seconds through your nose, then hold your breath for 4 seconds, and then exhale slowly for 4 seconds out of your mouth. Repeat this 3x if appropriate. Intentionally slowing our breathing and directing our focus to what that feels like can interrupt a negative thought cycle and give us time to process our feelings in the moment. Remember: it doesn’t ‘fix’ the impact of the negative comment, but it is a way of regulating ourselves and our reactions to it.
Body scan→ when experiencing challenges with food, weight, or body image, we become preoccupied with all of the things we perceive to be wrong with how we look and the focus becomes on our flaws or deficits. Doing a body scan brings our focus to parts of our body that provide us with strength and stamina, and it allows us to direct compassion and curiosity towards our body that we might not otherwise engage in. Here is an example:
Take 5 long, deep breaths through your nose and exhale through your mouth
Put both of your feet on the floor. Wiggle your toes. Curl and then uncurl them multiple times. Notice the sensations in your feet as you do this.
Stomp your feet on the ground several times. Pay attention to the feelings and sensations in your feet and legs as you make contact with the ground.
Clench your hands into fits, like you are holding an orange and squeezing all the juice out. Squeeze, then release the tension. Repeat 10x.
Press your palms together and hold this pose for 15 seconds. Notice the feeling of tension in your hands, wrists, and arms. (If it hurts, stop!!)
Rub your hands together quickly, like you are trying to warm up. Pay attention to the sound this makes, and the resulting feeling of warmth.
Reach your hands up towards the ceiling/sky, and truly stretch out your arms for 10 seconds. Slowly bring your arms back to your sides when finished, and notice the sensation of relaxation in your arms.
Take 5 more deep breaths through your nose, exhale through your mouth, and observe the newfound feeling of calmness in your limbs and body
5-4-3-2-1→ a way to take our minds off of our present worries or concerns is to direct our attention solely on what is in front of us. Try this (if it feels appropriate) to separate yourself from any thoughts or feelings that arise when feeling triggered around food or thinking about your body:
What are 5 things you can see? Pay attention to small details in your direct environment (lights, patterns, objects, etc)
What are 4 things you can feel? Notice the physical sensations of your clothing, the floor, or your seat; pick up objects and reflect on their texture
What are 3 things you can hear? If there are sounds you previously tuned out, direct your focus to them (clock, traffic, dog barking outside, the wind)
What are 2 things you can smell? Focus on the scent of the air or nature around you; you can also identify objects around you that you can physically pick up to smell like a candle or flowers
What is 1 thing you can taste? This is an opportunity to be curious rather than judgemental about food - what is the flavor? What is the texture? Temperature? Focus on a taste and describe it rather than prescribing meaning or judgement
Lastly, here is a holiday self-care ‘recipe’ to start your day off on the right foot:
Source: Doc Melissa
Be curious about these mindfulness based strategies as forms of self-care during this upcoming holiday season. Remember, you have inherent worth and value that is independent of the number on the scale, how many slices of pie you eat, and regardless of what anyone else says!
Sources
“Grounding Techniques: Worksheet.” Therapist Aid, Therapist Aid, 7 Nov. 2018, www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/grounding-techniques.
Haley, Alex, and Louise Delagran. “How Does Mindfulness Work?” Taking Charge of Your Wellbeing, www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/how-does-mindfulness-work#:~:text=Mindfulness%20can%20induce%20the%20relaxation%20response.%20This%20response,and%20respiratory%20rate%2C%20blood%20pressure%2C%20and%20muscle%20tension. Accessed 22 Nov. 2024.
Melissa, Doc. “Holiday Self Care Recipe - Doc Melissa.” Doc Melissa - Unlock Your Code to Thrive with Dr. Melissa, Epigenetic Success Coach, 31 July 2022, docmelissa.com/holiday-self-care-recipe/.
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