Breaking the Binge-Restrict Cycle

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Have you ever found yourself in a cycle of trying so hard to “be good” with food, only to end up overeating and feeling worse afterward? Maybe you’ve skipped meals during the day, only to find yourself raiding the pantry at night and eating everything you can find. Or maybe you’ve sworn off certain foods (like fries, candy, ice cream, etc.), just to feel out of control around them later. Maybe overeating initially brought feelings like comfort or happiness, but then you get so full and end up feeling guilty and ashamed. It can feel like a roller coaster of self-control, shame, and confusion, leaving you wondering, Why can’t I just eat “normally”? If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and you’re not doing anything wrong. 

This cycle and pattern is often called the binge-restrict cycle, which many people experience. The truth here is that it doesn’t mean you lack willpower or you’re weak. Your body is just trying to help you survive. In this post, we’ll explore what the binge-restrict cycle is, why it happens, and how you can begin to gently step out of it with compassion--not control. Whether you’re just starting to notice these patterns or have been stuck in them for years, this is a space for understanding, healing, and hope.

What is the Binge-Restrict Cycle?

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The binge-restrict cycle is a pattern of alternating between periods of restriction and periods of bingeing. Here are some definitions to envision this:

• Restriction: Skipping meals; eating very little; labeling foods as "bad;" strict dieting; getting rid of carbs; telling yourself you “shouldn’t” eat something (even if you want it), or not allowing yourself to eat sweets or desserts. This can sound like:

  • “I shouldn’t eat that.”

  • “I ate too much for lunch, so I’m going to skip dinner.”

  • “I don’t deserve to eat today because I didn’t work out.”

  • “I was so bad yesterday. I need to be extra “good” today.”

  • “I can’t have ice cream. It’s too many calories.”

• Bingeing: Eating a lot of food in a short period of time; feeling out of control around food; eating when you’re not physically hungry; overeating to soothe stress, and then feeling guilt and/or shame afterwards. This can sound like: 

  • “I already messed up and ate unhealthy, so I might as well keep going.”

  • “I’ll just start over tomorrow.”

  • “This is the last time I’m eating this, so I better enjoy it now.”

  • “I’m not hungry anymore, but I feel like I can’t stop eating.”

  • “I just want to feel better/comforted, and food helps, even for a little while.” 

    
    

This cycle can start with restriction, which can take different forms:

• Physical: not eating enough or skipping meals

• Emotional: feeling guilt or shame

• Cognitive: telling yourself certain foods are off-limits or “bad” 

  
  

Over time, restriction puts stress on your body and mind. It can then trigger your body’s survival instincts and lead to intense cravings or hyper-fixating on certain foods, which can be followed by a binge episode. Afterward, guilt and shame kick in, thus leading to restricting again to make up for the bingeing, and the cycle starts again.

Why Does This Happen?

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Bingeing and restricting isn’t your body punishing or sabotaging you, and it doesn’t make you a bad or weak person. It can happen due to unmet physical, emotional, biological, and psychological needs. So, your body isn’t fighting you; it’s protecting you. Here's how:

• Biological 

  • When you restrict or don’t eat enough, your body sees it as a threat to survival.

  • The amygdala, which is the part of the brain that detects threat and danger, kicks in and may say, “We’re going to die. We’re not safe. We’re starving.”

  • This then triggers a stress response, which activates cravings and compulsive eating in order to keep you alive. Therefore, you might start to overeat because your body wants to feel safe again.

  • The binge signals to the brain that you’re okay again, which calms you down temporarily until guilt and shame kick in, continuing the cycle.

  
  

• Psychological

  • Labeling foods as "bad" makes them more desirable. When you finally “give in,” it can feel like a loss of control.

  • Even if you’re eating enough, thinking restrictive thoughts (“I shouldn’t eat that” or “I can’t have any dessert or I’ll be fat” can trigger the same stress response as physical hunger because your brain interprets this as scarcity.

  • The more “forbidden” a food feels, the more power it can hold, thus causing us to obsess over those foods and increase the likelihood for a binge.

  
  

• Emotional

  • Sometimes, eating or bingeing can help us manage difficult feelings, numb ourselves, or escape overwhelming emotions--such as stress, sadness, and loneliness. 

  • If you associate certain foods with comfort or happy moments (e.g., cake, mac and cheese, french fries, etc.), you may use those same foods in order to feel that comfort again. This is valid but only works temporarily until you eat too much, feel guilt and shame, and start restricting again in order to regain control or “undo” the binge.

Here’s the thing: restriction doesn’t fix a binge. It fuels the next one.

Why It’s Not About Willpower

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If you've ever been stuck in this cycle, you might have thought something like, "Why am I so weak? and/or Why can't I just have more discipline?" The truth is, this cycle is not about personal weakness or lack of willpower. It's not a moral failing. It's how your body naturally responds to stress and deprivation in order to protect you.

For example, imagine holding your breath underwater. You can do it for a while, maybe longer than others. But eventually, your body forces you to gasp for air. You gasp not because you’re weak or because you’ve failed. You gasp because you’re human and need to survive. 

Food works about the same way. When you restrict yourself, your body feels deprived. Thus, your body will fight back in order to survive and “gasp for air” and will do whatever it can to get it back. Cue the cravings. The urgency. The feeling of being “out of control.” 

This reaction isn’t willpower or discipline. It’s biology. So, the next time you’re tempted to beat yourself up, pause and remember: your body isn’t broken. It’s doing its job. Healing comes not from control, but from compassion, nourishment, and trust. 

What Healing Can Look Like

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  Breaking this cycle involves rebuilding trust with your body, your hunger, and yourself. Here are a few gentle points to start your journey:

  
  

  1. Unlearn Food Rules

  Give yourself unconditional permission to eat whatever you desire. Yes, all foods. Look at foods as being emotionally equal rather than “good” or “bad.” It sounds scary, but when food is no longer forbidden or seen as the enemy, the urgency to binge starts to fade.

  2. Eat Consistently

  Bodies thrive off of routine. Try to eat consistently throughout the day and relearning your hunger cues to reduce intense cravings from restriction. 

  3. Be Curious, Not Judgmental or Critical

  After a binge, it might be easy to feel guilt and shame. Rather than blaming yourself, ask yourself, “What did I need in that moment? Was I overly hungry, lonely, stressed, tired?” Your body is always telling you something. Try listening with compassion.

  4. Expand Your Coping Toolbox

  It’s okay to want to soothe through food. However, food doesn’t have to be your only coping skill. Check in with yourself. If you aren’t hungry, maybe you’re just looking for comfort or something to help you feel better. What else could you use? A walk? Journaling? Being with a friend? A hug? Try some of those and see what happens.

  5. Reach out for Support

  You don’t have to go through this alone. Working with a therapist or dietician can help you unpack deeper layers and help you build a peaceful relationship with food with intuitive eating. 

  If you want to learn more about what intuitive eating is and ways to achieve it, check out this blog post called Intuitive Eating: Principles for Healing Your Relationship with Food.

  
  

  Binge Eating Disorder vs. Overeating/Bingeing

  I’m sure most of us have over-eaten at some point. Maybe it was on Thanksgiving, maybe it was a late night snack, or maybe it was after a breakup. That’s totally natural, and it does not necessarily mean something is wrong. While occasional overeating or bingeing can be part of being human, Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is a real and diagnosable condition that includes being stuck in this cycle often and longer. 

  
  

  Here are the criteria for BED according to the DSM-5, the standard classification of mental health disorders:

Recurrent episodes of binge eating	Binge eating episodes have 3 or more out of 5 features:	Additional criteria
Eating, in a discrete period of time (e.g., within any 2-hour period), an amount of food that is larger than what most people would eat in a similar period of time under similar circumstances A sense of lack of control over eating during the episode (e.g., a feeling that one cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating)	Eating more rapidly than normal Eating until feeling uncomfortably full Eating large amounts of food when not physically hungry Eating alone because of embarrassment of how much one is eating Feeling disgusted with oneself, depressed, or very guilty afterward	Marked distress Binge eating occurs, on average, at least once a week for 3 months Binge eating is not associated with the use of inappropriate compensatory behavior (e.g., purging) Binge eating does not occur exclusively during the course of bulimia nervosa or anorexia nervosa Severity can be based on frequency

If you feel like you might meet these criteria, try reaching out to your local therapist and/or nutritionist for help and support.

A Final Note

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You are never meant to see your body as the enemy or feel guilt for eating. You deserve freedom. Food doesn’t have to be a battle; it can be a source of connection, comfort, and care.

You don’t have to earn food. You deserve it just for living. You are allowed to eat. You are allowed to eat what you want. You are allowed to enjoy it without shame. And you are deeply and fully worthy, just as you are. 

Healing isn’t going to be linear, but with patience, grace, gentle consistency, compassion, and little steps, it can happen.

Sources

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890

Cantor, C. (2024, February 7). Overeating vs. binge eating disorder: What is the difference?. Columbia University Department of Psychiatry. https://www.columbiapsychiatry.org/news/overeating-vs-binge-eating-disorder-what-difference

De Young, K. P., & Bottera, A. R. (2022). A biobehavioral circadian model of restrictive eating and binge eating. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 55(10), 1291–1295. https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.23758

Equip Health. (n.d.). The binge-restrict cycle: Causes, risks, and how to stop. Equip Health. https://equip.health/articles/understanding-eds/binge-restrict-cycle